Walking away from people you love is not the best thing in the world . But just sometimes you have to put yourself ahead of everything else and the move the hell on .
When you love someone , you care and you only have a certain amount of care , so when you care about someone else , you start to care a little less about yourself and you start dripping off your “care ” package . But people leave , dead or alive , they leave and then you are left there with an empty bottle of ” care ” ,filling it with pathetic . And this is my worst nightmare ever , being walked on .
I will rather walk away myself than feeling miserable because then I ‘ll know what I did it for, but when people leave , there never is an explanation to that . I never tell anyone ” Hey you , I love you and I am afraid , I might loose you because someday you ‘ll realise how ugly and pathetic I am “. No , I don’t say that and I don’t think anyone does . And even if someone ever told me this I will never believe it because , I am a pathetic loser and I will always wonder what I did wrong . And I don’t want to .
Also when I leave , I know it will be less of an issue to them than it will be to me when they leave . I need to watch the casualities , Don’t I ? I wonder if it ever is an issue because I somehow know how to trick people into thinking that they were the ones to walk on me . People are so damn gullible . And shit ! I wish I didn’t always have to be the bad person , when I am not . I wish someone saw deep into me .
And most of the times when I try to walk away , it is like I was holding onto a helium balloon and you know it sucks to find out that people don’t give a shit about you . It sucks when you are down for them , for like years and they are just about cheese , when you believe in walking volcanoes with . When you pull off for a second and they just run away from you . And it sucks that it is not just one person , but everyone I know . And now I think maybe I will leave them the hell alone but I know even on their slightest call , I will be head over heels , even when I hate to be . I am still trying to loosen the grip , my grip , because I love my helium balloons .
Our lives are like houses , it can contain certain amount of people .You can’t be everybody’s and you can’t have everybody . So, I don’t want to stay in these houses and block the way of people who can make them into home , also I don’t want to keep people who don’t feel like home with me .With people now , I feel like they are stuck with me and want help to get out of my life , I ‘ll open the door .
It is one of the toughest time for me , I wish someone could tell me , if just evacuating my house all at once is a good idea ?