She dosen’t cry anymore . She laughs a lot . She talks a lot . She makes fun of you a lot . She annoys you a lot . Just in hope that maybe something , just something can make her feel alive .Nothing does .
Have you ever had the sensation of drowning ? I did , twice . Exactly , what she feels like . Except it is not water that she drowns in but life that engulfs her . I know her for a long time , and I remember how when she was 5 she thought she could be anything she wanted to be , a pilot , a doctor and she believed she could do anything , but lately it is going down . And now she thinks , she put her younger self down . The 5 year old her was brave and now she is scared . Scared of ? She dosen’t know . People ask her once in a while , if she is okay ? And sometimes she wants to tell them she is not , because SHE IS NOT , but she tells them she is fine because she has tried the other way too , but people really don’t care . They’ll tell you they are there for you , but sadness scares the shit out of people
So she thought maybe she should die , but she doesn’t want to put effort , anyhow . So , she leaves it on life , gives it up on the flow hoping not doing anything , is the last thing she has to do .