My mind is killing my soul !
All I seem to do is try and be bold .
Smile, breathe, Cry repeat ?
Chin up self esteem to ground ,
Wings wide ? when every single thought is a tide ,
Life is an upside down rollar coaster ride .
I smile and I laugh , I am happy for a while but deep down ,I sigh .
This world is not my place …
I don’t belong to this chase .
I thought maybe I will fit in someday,
But I am too fat they say .
” Run! Run ! ” They cheer, but I am losing my breath .
My heart is working too hard to not shatter, But it does anyway .
Its not that I hate the world…
But I do not love myself enough.
I don’t say I am the only one to have it rough,
But maybe I am the only one to not have the strength ?
because life dosen’t seem to work out not today , not tomorrow not anyhow.
Don’t tell me they have it worse I know that and it only makes me feel terrible !
I should fight ! Right ?
Don’t you think I tried ?
This ocean of tears is nobody’s hobby ,
Its something all of us fear …
to be potrayed as weak .
We all want to take over this world ,
To catch every diamond ,
but fear the cut .
Life has lost its meaning …
To me you ask ?
It is fog here of racism , sexism and many other isms and I suffocate .
It works 2 ways , either I accept it as the reality and learn to breathe this air of hate , Or maybe stop myself and not breathe ?
You ‘ll say I should try and help the world change ?!
And you maybe right , I believe in everybody’s voice …
But I want to be kinda selfish today .
I am weak I cannot stand hate
I cannot stand my own face .
Let alone having the dream to lead this human race .
So I bid you all a farewell ,
Hope ya ‘all learn to adjust or maybe stand against it someday …
But not me ,not today .
Good bye world .
Its too late …