Thoughts

Dear Moon 

I looked at the moon ,

I looked at the stars ,

Nothing .

In my brain there are thousands and millions  of wars ,

” What if they think I am ugly ? ” 

“What if nobody likes me ? ” 

“What if all my life I stay lonely ?” 

There was a time , the moon could cure .

But now maybe , it isn’t itself sure .

I get it .

I am hard .

I am complicated .

You give up right ? 

I thought like you helped the sky glow bright and fear away its dark night .

I thought maybe , you could help me not cry .

I look at you ,

Bright but pale .

Just like me .

We make the perfect irony .

Trying to light up the sky ,

When the sun is firing right at our backs .

This is sad .

They say you and I have stars .

Little do they know , they are thousand miled apart .

Just a fake shadow , to let them not know .

I will tell you a secret ,

I am just like you. 

I start up as a full moon ,

I am half until its noon ,

And then I disappear in night’s loom .

I have scars , just like you .

Reminder of all those wars ,

But you’re beautiful .

They say your scars make you prettier .

But mine ? 

They keep telling me ways to let them disappear .

You have thousands of me ,

Loving you ,undoubtedly 

But me ? I am lonely .

I am the one to blame .

I shouldn’t have been ugly .

Right ? I am sorry .

I look at you , hiding behind the clouds .

Like vapour could help you somehow .

Just like me. 

We make the perfect irony. 

Advertisements
Thoughts

Maze of thoughts 

Even stars line together at night ,

Into shapes , making sense .

So I stay awake all night ,

Hoping the same for my thoughts .

 I close my eyes 

and dive into the sea of words not spoken .

It just gets scarier each day  ,

because my nightmares always turn into reality !

Escaping my thoughts is like being in a pool ,

and not hoping to feel water .

Pain is okay ,

Nothing is not .

And I feel nothing at all !

Just an empty void in my chest …

And sometimes I want to 

Take my heart and throw it away ,

Because it hurts so  much somedays 

I don’t know why I think it would make me feel okay ?!

I want to die ,

But I still fear height and falling ,

So I guess I don’t want to die just yet .

But then breathing exhausts me .

Caring hurts me .

And hatred breaks my heart !

So I just collapse in the dark ,

With tears up my throat 

Too weak to be strong .

Too strong to cry ,

And too afraid of height to fly !

*Sigh* 

Poetry

Will you ?

I can be your friend but will you be my friend ? 

I am hard sometimes , do you like working hard ? 

I am not easy to keep , do you know how to hold on tight ? 

I will try to walk away , do you like to run ? 

I will fall , are you a good catch ? 

I will not say I love you , do you know how to feel ? 

I will think I am not good enough for you , do you give the best hugs ? 

I have anxiety , will you love me as much as you do  now ?

I self harmed for a while , are you brave enough to see the scars ? 

My heart has been locked for a while now , are you okay standing out, waiting until I find the key ? 

I will not let you touch my heart , but will you protect it anyway ? 

I get nightmares , will you be my day dream ? 

And even if you are not all of this , will you atleast try ?