Thoughts

Her Eyes 

They tell her, she has beautiful eyes .Big , Dark , Long curled eyelashes and dominant eyebrows. She always thanks them for their “compliment ” , her curse . And at home she goes in front of the mirror and stares right into her own eyes , they seem lifeless to her   . She dosen’t dare to look at anything but her eyes , because her eyes are her only hope to find beauty in . But she can see her face , she can see all her flaws , she dosen’t want to . She just sits there staring .

 Chapped lips , from all the times she got anxious and couldn’t help but bite them . Her sunburnt skin , because putting on a sunscreen is too much work for her , she is not patient anymore . She looks  at her arms , cuts , scars , cuts , bruises , cuts , she is so careless . Her imaginary cat has gone crazy .  She looks at her body , no ! she looks away instantly , stretch marks run along her body like maps , maps ? To everything she ever ate . Her nails are not painted , they are not even the same size , they are all the wrong size , she is the wrong size .

Tears roll down her “beautiful ” eyes , tracing their way to her chaped lips , its like rain in a drought .  But she keeps staring , and it hurts so bad , she wishes she didn’t have eyes to see , see THIS . Her curse .

Poetry

Will you ?

I can be your friend but will you be my friend ? 

I am hard sometimes , do you like working hard ? 

I am not easy to keep , do you know how to hold on tight ? 

I will try to walk away , do you like to run ? 

I will fall , are you a good catch ? 

I will not say I love you , do you know how to feel ? 

I will think I am not good enough for you , do you give the best hugs ? 

I have anxiety , will you love me as much as you do  now ?

I self harmed for a while , are you brave enough to see the scars ? 

My heart has been locked for a while now , are you okay standing out, waiting until I find the key ? 

I will not let you touch my heart , but will you protect it anyway ? 

I get nightmares , will you be my day dream ? 

And even if you are not all of this , will you atleast try ?